P r e t t y S k e t c h y: RANTS

My roommate Kim's lovely parents took us out tonight in honor of her birth. We went to dinner and then to the Diana Krall concert at the Jubilee. It was my second time seeing her and the first was ridiculously amazing so I was pretty prepared for a fabulous experience. We were about ten rows from the stage, had killer seats and an amazing view and a very strange experience.

As soon as the concert started a group of people behind us started talking. Comments about how great Diana Krall was, how gorgeous she looked and about her sons and what song she was playing and how John Clayton wasn't there. They seemed really into things and it was great that they were enjoying it but seriously enjoy it silently. I was initially annoyed but figured they'd settle down in a bit so I didn't say anything. I was wrong, the talking continued. Kim, Meg and I took turns shooting them dirty looks which is what one does in a concert-going situation where someone is being a jerk but they were not dissuaded. About five songs in they calmed down a bit and spoke a few sentences every few minutes as opposed to a constant stream of consciousness. And then something happened that blew all of our minds. The guy pulled out a bag of chips, no joke, crinkled it a whole bunch and ate a few (we heard the loud chomping). He then offered some around*. Meg and I just looked at each other in disbelief. A bag of chips, at the Jubilee, with the Edmonton Symphony orchestra?! People were wearing suits and cocktail dresses for Pete's sake and this frigging guy and his peeps were talking through the concert and eating chips. The concert continued and at least three more times, between conversations with his two idiotic female companions, he breaks out the chips for a chomp. Who does that? Seriously. I mean these guys were in their mid to late forties, pushing fifty. How can they not realize that their behavior was RIDICULOUS! I mean I can see doing that at a belly dancing concert or a football game or an interpretive dance recital or even a Justin Timberlake concert but I'm sorry any concert that includes a symphony means you don't bring food and you shut your mouth. They weren't even whispering. He also snapped along with the music on more than one occasion which was super irritating. How is it possible that anyone could be so stupid? So since my fellow Edmontonian concert-goers seem to be in dire need of some educating I have decided to create 'Natasha's Rules of Etiquette for Concert-Going".

1. Shut up. If you need to talk whisper and you'd better not do it more than three times during the concert.

2. If you notice people turning around to look at you during one of your allotted three whisper times, maybe consider the fact that you might not be as good of a whisperer as you'd thought. Respond accordingly.

3. Just because you know things about the band/artist it doesn't mean that you need to inform everyone else. People won't think you're smart, they'll think you're incredibly irritating and a know-it-all. Keep it to yourself or save it for after the concert when it's appropriate.

4. I would have thought this goes without saying but clearly I was mistaken. DO NOT under any circumstances bring chips to a concert. My mind is still reeling, CHIPS at a Diana Krall concert, the talking was bad enough...

5. This one has nothing to do with the people at tonight's concert but I feel really strongly about it nonetheless. No music in the car on the way home. One cannot possibly hold on to the ethereal experience of quality live music if their senses are immediately assaulted with media ten minutes after it's over. This is especially true if the CD is of the person you just saw. Not okay.

Okay I'm done my rantfest. The concert itself was super fabulous. Diana Krall is just so talented and cool and sexy and man what a voice. FYI The picture is from earlier this year not tonight.

I went through a stage a for a solid five years where I pretty much only listened to jazz and she was one of my favorites. I first really fell in love with her after seeing her Live In Paris show that my Mom taped for me on TV. She is incredible live and that show was so good, the recording of it is my favorite record of hers to date. I loved her for years, took Nathan to a concert of hers circa 2004, bought everyone I knew her CD's and even continued to love her through 'The Girl in The Other Room' when she ventured into songwriting. It wasn't her best work; really I think that voice was meant for standards. One of the things I love most about jazz music it that it's just as much about the past and all the great contributors as it is about the present and future. Despite the fact that I haven't listened to Diana's stuff in a few years there were only two songs I didn't know all the words to, it was nice. The concert was entirely covers and as a result of my previous jazz-loving stage I felt right at home. I like knowing the songs when I go to a concert.

My latest musical stage has kind of been not listening to music at all. Probably since 2007 I just haven't really been feeling it like I used to. I listen to a few things here and there but I almost never just put on a record and listen. The concert tonight was so great though that I might have to slide into another stage of jazz exclusivity listening. Well jazz and Sondre Lerche because I do love him.

*I may be exaggerating here but he was such a dumb-ass I wouldn't put it past him. Also sorry for the language but there is not other word to describe him.